I know this can be quite a touchy topic but, please bare with me. The picture I use as my profile on facebook is a painting I did in the middle of the year, and the theme I chose was"ignorance" You know the old cliché about ostriges with their heads in the sand? They don't actually do that you know, it just looks like it from a distance when they stick their heads in the dugout of there nest to sort the eggs or something like that. It is something we all do, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously, but we all are guilty. I bet there have been times when you answered by saying "oh really? I never knew! when what you really meant was that you did know and it just was not important enough for you to have to deal with and so you called on ignorance to cover your ass. A cop pulls you over for speeding and you say "really? I did not see the sign.........I am not familiar with the area" or some rubbish you quickly had to make up so you did not have to be held accountable...I can go on but, you get the drift. The worst kind of ignorance is the type which you Know but "choose" not to address it"
I have met so many people who have had to go through some terrible trauma in their lives while they were perhaps quite young and it left them scarred to the point that it effects the way they function in the world as adults. Not dealing with the trauma and allowing it to control ones life so negatively is a form of ignorance...if you bury your head in the sand then it will no longer exist, but wait! your ass is exposed and everyone can see it except you. I realised later in my life that my issues were negatively effecting my daily functioning especially with members of society, I felt insecure and vulnerable too often for it to be considered normal. When I had my children I realised that I had to change the existing behaviour and so I went to counceling......oh the other reason why I went was because it was strongly suggested I go..ha ha, I dare not mention from where that wonderful advice came from. It was one of the best things I ever did, I still had to wade through a number of very strange councelors to find the right one but when I did, it took no time at all to see the light. I had to stop pretending that I did not have a problem, stop being so ignorant and deal with whatever I had to to become something better. I choose to know as much as possible now, google helps me a lot with that. If I can't answer I go look it up. Before I get into an argument, I check my facts. What I am trying to say is that it is so much better to deal with things as they occure than to simply ignore them. If one ignores the issue it just hangs around, what's worse is that our immaginations get hold of them and then..oh boy..wait till you hear the end of that version? When one confronts the issue it is never as tragic as one was led to believe, the air seems lighter and clearer and letting go is easy. My Illness shocked me in many ways. I ignored things in my past and buried my head in the sand while my ass was sticking right out there. I put myself at risk and ended up have to pay the dearest price for it. Yes I blame ignorance, ignorance about smoking, about what we eat, about work and worst of all stress. Yes, to my mind stress is the number one killer. We slog through days, ignoring our children, our spouses, our pets......we plot a singular path and travel it everyday till the rut we created is so deep we can't even see out of it any more. We say things like "when I get that then it will be better" when this or that happens then things will change" but what if it does not? did one not realise that ones life is happening right now and yet our sights or vision is set on long distance that everything in the current is out of focus.
Life is terribly fragile and when I sit and look out at all the beauty and chat with my children about their plans then I want to really live a little longer......I feel a desperate need to try and find a way to live as long as I possibly can and then the reality shows the errors of my ignorance. I could expound on this topic but hope you will really start trying to live and recognise where you are right now and be present for yourself and all those that surround you with love. Oh by the very way...My beautiful daughter had her second baby today....a boy this time......I think her husband is going to be well stoked because he is a big boy and maybe just maybe will play for the sharks when he is bigger.
Ok good I am going to try and sleep now...something that does not come that naturally any more because of the cortosone. Take care of yourselves.
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