Did not see it coming?

Having a good chat to someone the other day and, after a few tots of vino, I hear "your a con artist". I was not sure at that point how it was related, so I just resumed the conversation, not sure if it was a conversation any longer, more like words just falling from the gaping hole in my face. A sentence later and I hear again "your a con artist", now I know this person is serious, I sober up suddenly and ask what it actually meant? I was told I was a con artist because I made claims about my disease and the prognosis which are clearly baseless. I ask why they feel this way and I am told it is because I look too well for someone who has a disease with such a poor prognosis. I was never very quick with responses and it usually takes me a day or two to work out what I should have said, which is useless by then. I was pretty cool though considering and like a ferret tried to quickly ascertain what the motive was for the comment and if perhaps I had misinterpreted it. It turns out I was not confused at all and the comment was as serious as a firing squad. It turns out that the disease could all be just a matter of mind 'over matter', all in my head so to speak. I was told that I like to pretend to be sick and do the whole act so well. Last month when I was not feeling too well I battled and complained as men usually do and was told that I moan too much, turned out I had gastritis which had to be treated and after taking the medication I immediately felt a lot better and was back to my normal self. I tried to explain that my approach to the disease is to accept the information to be as true and correct as it is intended for treatment or assistance but not for the purposes of morbidity. I try to continue with my work and as much activity as I can, physically and mentally. I eat as well as I can afford, meditate, and try to find some peace in my art and photography. The assault continued to a point where I was asked to produce a letter from from my specialist that clearly proves or indicates that I was dying from this disease. I humbly had to decline because I had no such letter in my possession, but did offer to introduce other evidence to prove my innocence, which was an envelope filled with my HRCT scans as well as x-rays, lung functions, doctors reports and pathology reports. These are now being sent to their own GP for further investigation regarding my claims. So now I will wait for the Doctors findings. I was asked what I would do if it was discovered that I do not have Usual Interstitial Pneumonia, and that it is actually just all in my mind? My response was that I would be eternally great full and ecstatic to hear such news. I was then asked what I would do if it was discovered that I was wrong about my condition and they were right? .............I did not have an answer for that, as I had never thought of it like that ever....a 'wrong' or 'right'? I have been thinking about this a lot now because I had to try and work out what the motivation was. It would seem that if the disease did not start with the letter 'C' or did not get as much exposure as 'Aids' or if I was not deformed, bleeding, handicapped or broken in some grotesque way, it is not conceivable to accept that it would be too serious and perhaps some simple alternative remedy like sticking a pealed carrot up my ass for week would cure it. (I joke.....) How do sufferers of this degenerative, progressive disease deal with the emotional and mental side affects? I have no explanation as to why this person feels that I have conned them? I have no clue as to what the motive is for saying something like that? What I have realised though is that if the Doctor said you are going to die from a particular disease, then you had better get on with it otherwise you are going to embarrass and inconvenience a lot of people out there. Don't think you can just get better and get away with it. (OK, ok I joke again, but what else am I supposed to do with this strange information)

Sense of humour?

I have just recently discovered that I may be suffering from a fairly new and rare disease called called Humornesia???? It is apparently caused by stress and anxiety which in acute cases the sufferer is unable to recall or remember how to laugh or have a humorous experience. I thought it was just a load of crap until I conducted some of my own intensive research. I first checked out the signs and symptoms which revealed a lot about myself. So here of some of the symptoms, firstly the swollen bottom lip. The bottom lip actually swells to the point where it literally gets so heavy that it begins to get heavy and sag, in some rare cases it gets so heavy that it hangs completely away from the bottom row of teeth leaving them completely exposed. The next one is called "droop" ya it's when the shoulders start to hang much the same as the lip does, only this time the shoulders push down and forward which causes the head to constantly look downward. This may be the reason why the lip hangs forward when all swollen like that. So this covered the most obvious physical symptoms, so here are some other signs which are not always so obvious. The ability to speak coherently is affected drastically, so when prompted for a response from someone, the sufferer may only be able to mumble something like "mm" or "ha" but nothing more. When sufferers are able to speak they can only talk about "themselves" they have no way of feeling any sense of emotion for anyone else other than themselves. It is mostly made up of morbid concepts such as, wanting to die, or just wanting go to sleep for a protracted length of time. There are many other signs and symptoms which are too difficult for me to include here because I think I may be suffering from this disease. There is a cure however. One can receive both medical and therapeutic help, but I prefer the option of complementary care or what they call alternative treatment. The search goes on and eventually I find out how one can get help the "organic" way, the way nature intended. One can contact a qualified therapist and make an appointment which only lasts about 15 minutes, however one needs to allow some time for recovery as it can be quite stressful at first. One is first briefly interviewed by the therapist, then the ankle of either leg gets tethered to a steel hoop anchored into the floor. Then the therapist applies a swift kick to the groin (for men only) The pain apparently runs directly through to ones brain releasing a strong urge to strike back, hence the reason for being tethered to the floor. When one is able to get one's breath back and stand upright, one is confronted with the sight of the therapist rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter. After a little time chemicals are injected by some hormones into the brain like a jolt of electricity which release the laughter response and one begins to join the therapist in laughter and ones sense of humour returns...for the time being at least. Well they do say that the best medicines are not very nice. So I guess the best remedy for sufferers of Humornesia is a swift kick in the nuts. Laughter is the best medicine and if one finds oneself unable to laugh at oneself from time to time then best you go see your therapist or at least let your partner give you a swift kick in the gonads.

It's a brand new Year

Happy new year to all...I spent a lot of time thinking about what would be my new year's resolution for this new and exciting year to come, after all it better be a good one because the world is going to end next year..he he ya right. No seriously I plan to have a good year and wanted to wish for something huge, something that would contribute greatly to my happiness. So I wished for "INSPIRATION" I want to be inspired about something every day. I think that to be inspired is what everyone needs, so I am wishing that for everyone this year. Inspiration makes me feel alive and excited, it energises me and gives a sense of real hope and an urgency to follow things through, I wake up excited to create and produce and to be better and happy.

My new year started off great so I am already feeling that my wish has come true. My brother came all the way from Denmark with his partner and her parents to tour this beautiful country. They stopped over in Cape Town for a few days and gave me a new lens for my camera, how cool is that? When they left my son arrived with his girlfriend and stayed for two weeks......ha ha I have such a good time with him and his girlfriend is tooo cute I tease her a lot but she is so good for it and they seem so happy together, and that's really all I ever want. My son is eighteen and just finished high school.....Didi is still attending school but, they managed to do some work and save for the visit. My son Damian....passed his exams...ye!!!! and can attend varsity if he wishes to further his studies. That's not all......they both gave me money from an anonomous person to use for equipment for my camera..not sure why they wish to stay anonomous? cause it is so hard to say "thank you". So who said wishes can't come true?

I have sent my photos out and they are now hanging in various place, so I am hopeing to get some sales in for them soon. So?....so far so good......The universe is such a wonderful place....hey! that reminds me.........I feel saddened and still surprised to hear how many people still lack "Faith"..Hey guys!!!! it does not matter what you have faith in....just believe that something is watching over you ok.....Sometimes very shitty things happen and one wonders how on earth one will cope or get through the period. If one just hangs on to that rudder and stays the course it will get better, Goodness will find you, have faith and and just believe please....... happiness, goodness and peace will find you if you let it. Don't hide, just keep going and it will all pass. Have a great year and may you all be so inspired this year. Take care of yourself and always be kind.

Cheers to 2011